Update on Life

Hey everyone! Well, I've been a working gal for over three weeks now, and let me say this. It is challenging!

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I really do. There's just a lot of stuff to get adjusted to. I think the hardest thing for me to do is to be happy at all times. I mean, what person wants to come into a restaurant at be greeted by a sour-faced brat? I'm sure nobody does. I don't have a problem with it most of the time, but it's hard to be chipper when your feet hurt and you've hurt yourself in some way during the day! It's hard not to complain about things, but I try to remember that I'm blessed to have a job anyways! I'm trying my hardest to not complain or be annoyed while I'm there. I really want to sometimes, but I'm learning to keep it to myself.

In other news, on Friday morning I accidentally cut myself with the box cutter at work! It was freaky! My manager Zach had to fix it up and deal with the blood. I felt bad because he was sick anyways, but it's kind of hard to bandage myself with one hand! Long story short, I've been staying away from the box cutter. (By the way, the picture makes it look worse than it was. It really wasn't too terribly bad.)

It's 9 o'clock now...bedtime! Another thing I've gotten used to is going to bed early, and waking up at the crack of dawn! I'm learning to appreciate sleep and free time! Night, loves!

Learning something new erry'day,
Kirstin

Chances Are...

Here lately I've been thinking about marriage. Partly due to the fact that my brother, Ryan, just got engaged to one of my best friends, Amanda! :)

Anyways, I've been thinking about how I hear a lot of girls talking about how "When I get married, I'll do yada yada.." just assuming that they will get married one day. I'm trying so hard to come to the realization that God controls my life. He controls what will happen. Me getting married might not be in His plan. I'm trying to realize that my life is not my own, no matter how much I try to control things. I mean, I still really want to get married one day, but if God has something else for me, then I should be content with that. I should be content with it because it's what HE wants, not what I want.

I want to be so close to God that His desires will be mine, and I won't have any problem with whatever He wants me to do (or not do.)

The chances of getting married are high these days, but the chances of them lasting are low. If I ever get married, I want it to be God-ordained, because I'd rather wait a long time for my marriage to last, rather than jump into something that will fall apart.

I'm Not Usually Like This

I’m going to be straight with you. Sometimes, I become lame and really want to have a boyfriend NOW. I don’t want to have to wait years to finally have one. I become extremely impatient and the thoughts of “I want a boyfriend” continue to go through my head for as long as I allow them. I become discontent with how my life is because all of my friends who have significant others seem to be having a better life than I. I become so typical teenage girl-ish that it ruins my whole day.

I was having one of these “Teen Days” just a few weeks ago. A few of my girl friends had just gotten nice boyfriends, and I let it linger through my head that I “kind of” wanted a boyfriend. Well, the thought kept going through my head. It went from “kind of”, to “maybe”, to “really”, to “NEEDED”. I got to where I was in a mood where I wouldn’t leave my room and I just didn’t want to see anybody or hear about anything having to do with my friends who were in a relationship. If I saw one “I love you” written from a friend to her boyfriend, I’d scoff, roll my eyes, and become bitterly jealous. I’d become such a pathetic jerk and an extremely selfish person.

As I was wallowing in self-pity and selfishness, I looked up onto my bookshelf and saw the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. I thought, “Okay, maybe this will help a little bit.” I started right where I left off last, and the first thing I read was the title of the chapter, “The Right Thing at the Wrong Time is the Wrong Thing”. PANG! My heart felt like it got smacked. As I read one story, the ending to it said this -

“Too often, people want what they want (or what they think they want, which is usually “happiness” in one form or another) right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by a willingness to accept the bad with the good, do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.”

As I continued to read, the chapter was about how any season of singleness is a gift from God. I have put a bookmark in the book on that page, and I now turn to it any time that I start feeling impatient when it comes to relationships.

God really knew how to get to me that day. I love how He reveals things!

Chick-Fil-A

Remember my last post talking about an interview I had with Chick-Fil-A? Yeah? Well...I got the job!

I start at the Gallatin Chick-Fil-A the first week of December! I'm excited, but oh so nervous. I had a dream about it already. It was actually a good dream, so it made me feel better about working there!

Well I guess I should go to sleep and get rid of this annoying cold!

My pleasure,
Kirstin

Nervous

Yesterday afternoon I turned in a job application at Chick-fil-A in Gallatin. After about three and a half hours, I got a call to schedule an interview. That interview is in two hours. Nervousness for today just hit really bad.

Oh, I hope I get the job!

PRAYYYY!

Shaken

God is really great. He's so loving, and He is always really creative in how He reveals things to us.

Just the other morning, I had been praying that God would open my eyes and reveal something to me. Well, God was faithful. I was in the car with my parents, thinking about MY life and MY situations, while listening to my iPod. My iPod was on shuffle and the song "Shaken" by Hawk Nelson came on. I wasn't really listening to the words, but right when I started to listen, the words "Open my eyes and help me see, there's a world outside of me." It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I am so selfish. I'm always thinking about number one. I'm always thinking about my problems, without even really caring about what other people, even my close friends, are going through. I'll care about them once they come to me and say, "Hey, can you help me out on this?" but honestly, I hardly ever REALLY put my time and effort into them. Even with some of my BEST friends, I never really take the time to see how they are really doing. This fact makes me feel so ashamed.

God's really been speaking to me about being a servant lately, and really, there's no such thing as a selfish servant. Please just pray for me!

Help Me Out, Here.

Warning: This is going to be a very honest post. It's kind of embarrassing, actually.

I used to be the DEFINITION of boy crazy. Ridiculously, I have liked countless guys in my 17 years of living. I was one of those girls that would freak out if a cute guy talked to me. I was one of those girls who would get squeaky and utterly obnoxious after talking to a guy. I still have the tendency to be obnoxious now, but not over boys.

Now, at 17 years old, I realize how stupid and idiotic I was in doing that. I'm actually ashamed that I used to be that way. My views on boy/girl relationships have dramatically changed in just 7 months. Those views have been changed by situations in my life and by God showing me through His Word and through other people. Quite surprisingly, I have not had a "crush" on anybody in 7 months. During these 7 months, I've grown so much in the Lord because my mind was not occupied by thoughts of a boy. I've been guarding my heart as best as I can.

I now believe that it is so unwise to be in a relationship as a teenager. These are the changing years. Personalities change, looks change, and beliefs change. Just because you meet someone your extremely compatible with when your 16, doesn't mean one of you won't change in a drastic way later on.

I've gone 7 months without liking anybody, and I know that I am quite able to live without having a crush, so I have made a commitment to God to not like anybody until I'm at least 18. So I have a favor to ask of my friends reading this. If you hear me talking about any boy as more than a friend, or ANYTHING of that sort, please say something. It can be something as simple as "Kirstin, guard your heart." or "Kirstin, remember your commitment." Please, please, PLEASE help me in this way.

Be praying for me,
Kirstin