So here lately, God has been getting on me for making fun of people. I mean, I haven’t made fun of people in a mean way, just jokingly. Even just making a snarky comment towards one of my friends has convicted me. God’s been really showing me things that I say and do, without even thinking twice about it. He’s been putting certain people on my heart, and hearing some of the things my friends say about these people really upsets me.
If the subject of peer pressure ever came up in the past, I’d immediately think, “I won’t fall into peer pressure, I’m just not that type of girl.” Boy, oh boy, was I ever wrong. It wasn’t anything major that I fell into, it was going along with making fun of someone. I’ve told her I am sorry for doing it, but it still makes me upset that I’ve done that. This one boy I know repeatedly calls me mean, for reasons I don’t know, because I’ve never been mean to him, but it got me thinking. Am I really mean? The more I think about it, the more I realize that he is right. I find myself to be a mean person. Around certain people I’m mean, and around certain people I’m the nicest girl around. It would seem that I wear a mask. A lot of people I know wear masks. (Not literally, of course.) They hide who they really are and what they really feel. I’ve worn many different masks in my life, which I regret. It’s hard to let go of all the masks, because after a while, you actually fool yourself into thinking you’re really one way when, in fact, you aren’t at all.
One other thing I wanted to mention. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry to anyone I’ve ever hurt in the past by either making fun of you or being mean in any way. I take full blame for all of it. I’m really really sorry. Thanks to all of you who chose to put up with me! :)
Sincerely,
Kirstin
You are so precious.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so open about yourself. Unfortunately, we all wear masks. They hinder us from sharing with people the beauty of Christ. Ever thought about that? If we are wearing masks and trying to be perfect all the time for people, than we are basically undermining the beauty of Christ's gift on the cross. We have to just be open with people and be like, "Hey, I'm a loser and you are too, but God loves us anyways." Maybe that's why many non-Christians see us as legalistic. Anyways, I wasn't trying to write a novel. Lol.
Really though, it's a blessing and encouragement to see you being open about yourself. I haven't seen this much in you. (Maybe I have but I don't remember.)All is forgiven with me (and it is with Christ. HOW COOL IS THAT?). I have a problem in this area too.