Pomp and Circumstance

For those of you who are totally oblivious as to what has happened in my life, I will tell you.

Last night....I GRADUATED! No, I'm not kidding! I, Kirstin Joelle Tucker, have stepped into adulthood (forget the fact that I'm only 16.) I feel so old, but I also feel SO AWESOME! I'm not a highschooler anymore! I still think that part hasn't sunk in yet, because today when I was at the soccer fields, some kid asked me what grade I was in and I almost said "Oh, I'm a senior" before catching myself and saying "I just graduated last night!"

I feel so stress-free at the moment, and let me tell ya...that is an AMAZING feeling! I haven't felt this good in a long time! I have nothing to stress about now that graduation is over!

Last night, I was 100% sure that I would get up there and bawl my eyes out. I highly surprised myself when I got up there and didn't shed a tear. Of course, my voice was still shaky and I had to pause a few times to breathe, but other than that, I held my own! I showed myself that I am stronger than I think! But then, once I got off the stage and sat down, the tears. were. POURING! I was watching my slideshow, and I just couldn't stop crying. I kept thinking "Oh my gosh, I'm going to miss everybody so freaking much." I looked over at all the seniors sitting beside me and finally realized that that was it, I realized how much I am going to miss them and all the good times we have together. I knew I shouldn't have typed that out, because now I'm crying! Pull yourself together, Kirstin!

Anyways, I'm very satisfied with how graduation went, and I am SUPER proud of all of the other Seniors! I don't think they'll every fully understand how much all of them mean to me! I really hope that we won't all go our separate ways and never see eachother again...because I can't live without my brothers and sisters! I love them so much!

Oh great, here come the tears again. I'm stopping now before I bawl.

Signed,
A Very Teary Kirstin

Lame!

I've been really lame and haven't posted anything in almost 2 weeks! :O

So much has been going on! With graduation right around the corner, I've been trying to prepare for it, and I still have so much to do! I haven't even started on my display board, I'm still deciding on what I'm going to say for my speech, and I'm just so mentally unprepared for it!

Stress, stress, go away, come again...never.

In other news, some great stuff has happened! We had our Senior banquet and it was a huge success! I didn't even have to do anything embarrassing! Yesterday my church had a special thing for the graduates and we all got awesome study bibles! About a week and a half ago my parents gave me a cellphone as an early graduation gift!

On Friday, the Seniors had a party, and it was SO FUN! We all sat and told weird stories about injuries/animal stories/whatever else we could come up with for about an hour and a half! Then we played games and made videos of us playing! :D We made some good memories!

For all of you people reading this that go to UCA, you have NO IDEA how much I am going to miss you. You better not forget me! lol

Love,
Kirstin

Don't Bother To Read This

I have a really strong craving for some crispy bacon right now!

I just finished washing dishes, so my hands look really scaly and gross! :P

"Betcha my life is gonna be swell, lookin' at them it's easy to tell. And maybe I'll forget how nice he was to me, and how I was almost his baby..." Sorry, I'm watching "Annie" right now, so I'm in the musical mood.

I'm going to be finished with school this week! *screams for joy* I am SO happy about that! No longer is it "Yes! I'm finished with school for the summer, then back to school in August!" No, siree! Now I bet you're thinking "GASP! Kirstin's not going to college?!?!" Well let me calm your nerves a little bit. As of right now, I'm going to go to cosmetology school next year.

I'm really tired. Mom is in here with me watching Annie, so I can't go to sleep until it's over. Thankfully, it's almost over. :D

I've really got nothing better to do right now, so I'm just rambling on and on. Hence the title of this post.

I wish Thursday would get here quicker. I'm missing my UCA peeps majorly. *sigh* They're like an addiction...and I'm in withdrawal. Goodness gracious, I need SLEEP!

Goodnight to all, and to all a good...night. Wait, I think I got that wrong. O_o

Love,
Miss Sleepyhead

My Weekend

For those of you who don't know, our school (UCA) had the Senior Banquet on Friday! It was a BIG success, and they didn't have us Seniors do anything embarrassing, thankfully! One of the things that I loved was that people could go up to the microphone and say stuff to the Seniors! :D I cried multiple times, because a lot of the things were really sweet! Anytime that ANYBODY said anything directed towards me, I got teary-eyed. Parents, siblings, and friends got up to say things.

They shared things that made people laugh, and they shared things that made people cry. Near the end of the open-mic time, K-Bob was the first Senior to get up and say something. That alone empowered David to get up and say something, and that empowered ME to get up and say something. Now originally, I was confident and I was gonna say things to each of the Seniors, and of course to my parents, but emotional little me started to get shaky and I knew if I said any more, then I would bawl. I was rather irritated at myself for getting emotional.

Friday was officially the LAST day of me being pale. Saturday morning and afternoon was spent outdoors at the soccer fields. Of course, since I inherited my Dad's skin pigment (or...lack of it I should say) I burn very easily. I kind of wanted to get a sunburn, because I was getting rather tired of having incandescent legs, and I knew it would turn into a tan. Little did I know the repercussions of staying out as long as I did. On the drive home from LayFlat (Lafayette), I didn't really looked burned. My face and legs didn't even look remotely burned, just my arms seemed sunburned. By the time I arrived home, I realized that I was much more burned than I thought. The pain seemed so much more excruciating, since I had forgotten the feel of a sunburn. I had a very long night, and didn't get much sleep at all, since I couldn't lay on my side like normal.

When I woke up and got out of bed this morning, it really REALLY hurt to walk. My legs were so sunburned that it was like a clothes iron was put on my legs any time I took a step. I decided that I would wait to see if it would wear off, since I wanted to go to church tonight. The pain continued throughout the day, so I ended up staying home. It's not AS bad right now, but it's still pretty bad.

Does anybody else use that blue gooey stuff on sunburns? Well that's all we have, and that stuff is more painful to put on that the actual sunburn itself! It's like rubbing ice on yourself. It doesn't hurt once it's on, but when it touches my skin, I just want to scream.

All of this goes to say, Kirstin Tucker is no longer the pale ghost she once was. Now, she is known as....The Lobster Queen.

Love,
Her Majesty The Queen

Just Listen

Here's some statistics:

• EVERY DAY there are approximately 11 youth suicides.
• EVERY 2 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens.
• Suicide is second leading cause of death in colleges.
• For every suicide completion, there are between 50 and 200 attempts.
• CDC Youth Risk Survey: 8.5% of students in grades 9-12 reported a suicide attempt in the past year.
• 25% of high-school students report suicidal thoughts.
  
• The suicide attempt rate is increasing for youths ages 10-14.
• Suicide had the same risk and protective factors as other problem behaviors, such as drugs, violence, and risky sexual activities.
• A recent survey of high-school students found that almost 1 in 5 had seriously considered suicide; more than 1 in 6 had made plans to attempt suicide; and more than 1 in 12 had made a suicide attempt in the past year.

These literally shocked me. Here lately, God has really been pushing suicide awareness on my mind. I mean, a lot of people think, "Oh, none of my friends are suicidal! They'd tell me!" I am glad to say that I have never had a friend who has committed suicide, but that doesn't mean that I never will have one in the future. Hopefully, I can be the person that helps prevent it.

Something I've learned the hard way is that not everybody is what they seem. For all we know, someone who looks happy could be having a really really tough time at home. Or someone who has a genuine smile and laugh could really be dying inside. It really kills me, thinking that maybe someone I know could be going through an extremely tough time and I don't know about it. I don't want anybody to think that I won't care.

My biggest fear is that somebody will hurt themselves because I didn't notice warning signs earlier. A lot of people just need somebody to listen to them, and somebody to understand and not judge them. I've really been trying to become more of a listener and less of a talker, but it's kind of hard for me to just shut up and listen.

Love,
Kirstin

I'm Walkin' On Sunshine!

If you follow this blog and not my other blog, then you should really follow my other one, also. I try to equal out my blog posts between the two, so I'm not swamping one and ignoring the other. The other one is also shared with my two best buds, Tonya and Amanda. They are both really creative, and they have some smart things to say. There is a lot of posts that have no relevance and are really retarded, but they are still nice to read. :D

I just posted on the other one about the "interesting" events of my day, and if you care about my well-being, you should read it. LINK TO THE POST!

I'd just like to give a little shoutout to my friend, Melissa Cherry who lives in ENGLAND (It is England, right?) Isn't that cool that she lives there? I would DIE to visit there sometime! It's one of my life goals! Anyways, I'd like to thank her for encouraging my blogging! :D THANK YOU MELISSA!

Hope you all have had an awesome day! :)

Love,
Kirstin

Amnesia and "Love"

So today as I was driving my little car to Lafayette, I thought of a GREAT subject to write about! Of course, due to my selective amnesia, I have forgotten it. Instead, I shall write about something ELSE that's on my mind, even though I'm pretty darn sure I've written about it before. The subject is on three words.

I love you.

I can't even BEGIN to express to you how much it irks me to hear young teenagers saying this to their boyfriend/girlfriend. It is one of very few things that actually makes me angry! The words to them mean "Well I like you a whole lot, and I am attracted to you, so I MUST love you!" In all honesty, I think over 95% of them are just infatuated. I know that to them it SEEMS like they are in love, because the other person is just perfect for them and they get along great and have good chemistry, but do they REALLY love them? Probably not.

In my own opinion, you can't love somebody unless you have the love of God. If you ARE a Christian and so is your boyfriend/girlfriend, then is the relationship you have together glorifying God? That's all that really matters in the long run anyway. We're here to ultimately glorify God, and God doesn't want you to be in a relationship if it is hindering you from following the Lord. Then again, sometimes God puts people together so you can strengthen one another in your walk with God, and encourage each other to follow God.

I have been asked before why I have never had a real boyfriend. Do you want my honest opinion on why I don't have a boyfriend? I will SURE tell you. I am scared of having one. There, I said it. I am SCARED! I'm scared that I'll just be following my own desires instead of God's. I'm scared that I'll turn into one of those lovey dovey couples that are annoying. I'm scared that I'll accidentally leave my friends behind. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to admit? Wow, I feel like a new person, getting all that out. I don't really think I've told that to anyone before. *BIIIG sigh*

Well, I'm done for the night. Adios.

-Kirstin